A Double FireplaceMore Jerry Clower transcripts for ya'll! Hope you enjoy! Please listen to the original version here ->A Double Fireplace by Inuyashaslove
Do ya’ll know what a double fireplace is?
Me and my brother Sonny and my Mama lived in a house one time what had a double fire place. What that means is you sit in the one room in front of the fireplace and right directly across the backside of that fire is another fireplace what’s hooked to the same chimney.
I was as scared of the dark as any man who ever lived. Or any youngin’ who ever lived I’ll guarantee ya. My brother Sonny would always make me sit in front of this fireplace until I’d get so sleepy that I’d fall out in the floor, or either have to walk around in the dark by myself and go to bed.
This night he sweated me, until I went on in there, I felt my way around through the kitchen and through the side room and then back into the bed, and when I got back into the bedroom on the other side of the fireplace I saw Mama had moved the furnit
Definition of a CowA cow is a completely automatic milk manufacturing machine.Definition of a Cow by Inuyashaslove
It is encased in untanned leather, and mounted on four vertical, moveable, supports. One on each corner.
The front end contains the cutting and grinding mechanism, as well as light sensors, an air inlet and exhaust, a bumper, and a foghorn.
At the rear is the dispensing apparatus and an automatic flyswatter.
The central portion houses a hydro-chemical conversion plant. This consists of four fermentation and storage tanks, connected in series by an intricate network of flexible plumbing. This section also contains the heating plant complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station, and main ventilating system.
The waste disposal apparatus is located at the rear of this central section
In brief the extremely visible features are: two lookers, two hookers, four stand-uppers, four hanger-downers, and a swishy-whishy.
Examples of a RedneckA lot of people in this country have bought books defining what a redneck is.Examples of a Redneck by Inuyashaslove
I saw one the other day, had a thousand different things that you can look for to identify a redneck.
Well let a good ole girl give ya just a few ways you can know a redneck.
And you don't need to buy no book.
Well let me tell ya on the front, I've never seen a redneck that didn't have a job. He was workin' at somethin'. Cause he just had to have enough money to go by and visit with his friends at one of them places side the road fore he goes home in the evenin'.
So you can rest assured 100% of the time that a mans always a redneck if he's got a bunch of ole second hand cars and just half of 'em will crank.
You know a man is a redneck if the front porch falls, it'll always kill about four dogs.
You know a man is a redneck if his mama keeps a spit-can on the ironin' board.
You know a man is a redneck if his mama has got in a fistfight at a high school sporting event. I've seen 'em walk in the sheriffs office a
Our First BananaI tried to put pronunciations in () so you could get a better idea of the accent.Our First Banana by Inuyashaslove
Me n Marcel Ledbetter joined the Navy. Caught that fast train. Haaaawh, that city of New Orleans (Or’lns). Fastest train in the world. Runs from New Orleans to Chicago (Chi-car-go) n back.
Me n Marcel had prayed that we’d one day get enough’a money to ride that train, an’ finally the federal government bought us a ticket on it.
Me n Marcel got on that train headed to Camp Perry, Virginia. Williamsburg, Virginia. That’s where we took our boot camp: Camp Perry, Virginia.
We got on that train. We’d been on that train 6 hours. Me n Marcel had been homesick 5 hours and 59 minutes. An’ a fella come walkin down through that train, had a basket in each hand, sayin’ “Apples, oranges, bananer’s! Get your apples, oranges, bananer’s!”
Marcel said “Jerry, what is a bananer?”
I said “I don’t have no idea (eye-dee). I g
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